


Fuckboy Traitor

by IrisAntunes



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: And isak, Chris and Eva - Freeform, Eva suffer internally, F/M, Kinda, Melodramatic, Mention of Noora and the girls, Sad, after 4x10 clip of Chris Berg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-16 18:42:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11258706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrisAntunes/pseuds/IrisAntunes
Summary: Eva's thoughts on recent events.OrAnd the horrible decisions she makes throughout her life. Like the damn sex with Jonas





	Fuckboy Traitor

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Guys. Firstly probably will have some grammatical mistakes. English is not my idiom and this was translated with the Google. So in case of you find some, I’m sorry. 
> 
> So, I made this after that damn message that Eva wrote to Chris talking about how her had sleep with Jonas. What it was very unnecessary, because her relationship with Jonas it toxic and she was always being seen as dependent on him. But apparently Julie wants fuck all, inclusive with all the development from Eva since season 1 And make it back to what it was at the beginning of the series: a traitor. (I know she and Chris were not exclusive, but she was very hypocritical to call Chris "Fuckboy Traidor" after she did what she di) 
> 
> I still have hope that Julie will get some sense of ridiculous on the clips that still remain. 
> 
> I`m warning you guys, this is not a happy ever after fanfiction. In fact, is very sad.  
> Because How you guys will be able to see, I’m pissed

The first thing Eva thinks about when she sees him at the party is how she missed him. The second thing is in the fact that she had fucked with Jonas the day before, and only the thought that he had come from the army for her birthday after she had done it made her feel bad.

But then the rational part of her remembers that they are not in a relationship, they are not exclusive and she has the right to stay with whomever she wants. Then the next day, when he's lying in his bed, stupidly handsome, and he proposes that they be something else, she hides behind the excuse that he's a Fuckboy traitor and that's what he always will be. Except she knows that's not true.

He was a Fuckboy traitor, inclusive, he was one at the time that SHE betrayed Jonas with him. The first time she tasted those lips. She knows he was. Everyone knows he was. But now, she knows he is not anymore.

She knows that he has changed, she recognizes the look that is in his eyes, she recognizes the way he traces her eyebrows gently when she is sleeping and she knows exactly what look will find in her eyes when she says he is not special . She recognizes why it's the same look, the same way she had it when she was with Jonas. The difference is that unlike her, he did not become dependent. Then she closes her eyes and pretends that nothing of that happened that she has not possibly spoiled a relationship before it even happened. She pretends she can not hear him swallow dry at her side, she pretends she does not love his kiss and she pretends she does not feel the emotion racing through her stomach when he does not hide and introduce himself to his mother.  
She pretends she does not like it when he says he is not her boyfriend ' yet' . And when he shows up at her door with flowers the next day, she pretends she does not want to jump in his arms and shout yes.

Because that's what she does all day. She pretends. She pretends she did not know from the beginning that her relationship with Jonas was doomed to failure, she pretends she did not know How bitch she was when she chose to betray her best friend, she pretends she did not deserve the way Ingrid treated her, she pretends she's never been afraid that Jonas would betray her and she pretends she's not a traitor either.

Because she wants to, but simply does not have the courage to admit the truth. She does not dare admit that when she was with Jonas, she was feeling trapped. That she had no friends, that her world revolved around Jonas, that she was so grateful when Isak told Jonas about her and Chris simply because she did not have the guts. She pretends she's not a coward, and she pretends she's not doing it all over again.

She pretends it was just a hook-up, and that it will not affect her life. But she knows.  
Oh she knows. She knows she will never tell Chris, because even if they were not Together when it happened, they were together a lot longer.She pretends that he's not going care, but she knows she will break your heart. And she pretends it will not break hers.

She pretends she did not like the flowers, that this is not the kind of thing that she likes. But she knows that if she opened it just a little bit she would love it. She pretends she does not know that she does not like it simply because no one has ever treated her like that, no one ever gave her presents without reason, or declared how beautiful she is for no reason. She pretends she does not want desperately to change the past and never to fall into Jonas's arms again. She pretends she does not want to call Noora, Chris, Sana and Vilde and tell her about what she did and what she wants to do more than anything.

She pretends she does not notice the way Chris looks at her when Jonas's girlfriend comes in to talk about Eid party. She pretends that her heart does not shatter knowing that once again she will be the cause of the end of a relationship. She pretends she does not want to push Jonas on a wall and punch him until he responds why he is always cheating.

Because she wants to stop. She does not want to be like this. She does not want to have to pretend anymore. She does not want to have to pretend that Chris is wrong and that her Chris is a damn Fuckboy and not just a kid who really wants to spend time with her. She wants to be able to tell Chris, that she has repented and that since he has returned, she can not get him out of her head, she wants to be able to say that she is in love with him, She does not want to pretend that he's just Chris anymore., she does not want to have to pretend she does not want to punch herself and ask why SHE is always cheating. Because she can not just do things the right way. Because she can not just get rid of all this and simply be a sure girlfriend. She does not want to have to pretend she does not know the answer to that question.

But she knows.

She knows exactly what the answer will be. It's the same one she uses as an excuse to stay away from Chris when all she wants most is to be with him: He's a traitor. And that's what it's always going to be. And so is she...

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, guys, if you read this before Episode 10 was shown, you'll understand why I'm so angry. If you read after 4x10, I hope Julie has managed to fix the big mess she created and that Chris and Eva have finished together.
> 
> But if they did not end like this, then this will still be perfect to define how I feel.
> 
> It's terrible, sad, melodramatic, and made me want to cry, but that's what I feel after that damn message. If it's not how you feel or if you liked Eva being with Jonas at the end (just in case this happens, which would be ridiculous), just pretend you did not read it and that Eva and Jonas are perfect together and that they do not Are toxic to each other.
> 
> You choose.
> 
> This is my choice. That's how I felt and put it into words, because I could not just kill Julie or Jonas. If you do not agree, no problem. This is just me. Feel at home to comment. If you did not like it, please do not offend anyone, this is just my opinion.
> 
> Thanks for read♥
> 
> Ow, and remembering guys, that everyone can change. Just because I finished the story like that, doesn't mean it will always be like this. She always can change. She just didn't do it . Yet


End file.
